(The below content maybe too senseless for some people, If you like realism... You're in the wrong place.)
Today I'm interviewing Mr. Banana!!!
Me: Nice to meet you Mr. Banana, I want to do an interview on you...
MB: It's my pleasure... Wait... You WANT TO INTERVIEW ME!!! Holy ****!!!
Me: Err... yes? Well let's being shall we? Tell us a bit about yourself...
MB: Well, you could say I'm considered a delicacy all over the world... And men often liken their "cough-cough" to me...
Me: Now, that's all fine and dandy... But could you go a little bit deeper about yourself...
MB: Sure, anything for the people( YOU!!! ) who are gonna read this... I began life on a tree, It wasn't a particularly nice tree but it was a great place to grow-up... Nice peaceful surroundings, birds singing everyday and great fresh forest air... I was a young banana'ling back then, the world had no dangers and life was great... But one day I saw some monkeys eating other bananas off another tree... I'm telling you, it was the most horrifying thing I ever saw... (tears drips)
Me: It's all right now, I feel your pain... Would you like to go on?
MB: Of course, of course... Sorry for that emotional outburst back there... Now, where was I? Ah, yes... THAT day... After witnessing what I call all brutal slaughter of bananas, I went to tell my mom... After hearing my tale, she looked me in the eyes and told me it was time to know the truth... Me, being innocent and unknowing at the time had been shocked after hearing what mom had told me... (teary eyed)
Me: Need a tissue? I got some here...
MB: Thanks, I needed that... Mom told me that wad I had witness was to be all of our(bananas) fates... I was shocked and asked her why... She told me that was the way things are... I couldn't hold back my emotions and I ran away from home... I told myself that I'll be the savior of the bananas and change the very paths of our destinies...
Me: Wow... That's some extreme shit...
MB: I formed a rebellion with other like-minded bananas, we wanted to end our oppressive fates and so we decided to kill those other monsters which devoured our kind... At first, we were not sure on how to do it, but a brilliant banana came up with the idea of poisoning unsuspecting bananas with a substance harmful to those which ate us... And so our night-time operations commenced... The fruits of our labour were great... Within that month alone, our enemy suffered many casualties... The guys and I were damn happy with our work and decided to move up to the next level...
Me: Go on, don't the readers be in suspense...
MB: Of course, of course... Sorry for that emotional outburst back there... Now, where was I? Ah, yes... THAT day... After witnessing what I call all brutal slaughter of bananas, I went to tell my mom... After hearing my tale, she looked me in the eyes and told me it was time to know the truth... Me, being innocent and unknowing at the time had been shocked after hearing what mom had told me... (teary eyed)
Me: Need a tissue? I got some here...
MB: Thanks, I needed that... Mom told me that wad I had witness was to be all of our(bananas) fates... I was shocked and asked her why... She told me that was the way things are... I couldn't hold back my emotions and I ran away from home... I told myself that I'll be the savior of the bananas and change the very paths of our destinies...
Me: Wow... That's some extreme shit...
MB: I formed a rebellion with other like-minded bananas, we wanted to end our oppressive fates and so we decided to kill those other monsters which devoured our kind... At first, we were not sure on how to do it, but a brilliant banana came up with the idea of poisoning unsuspecting bananas with a substance harmful to those which ate us... And so our night-time operations commenced... The fruits of our labour were great... Within that month alone, our enemy suffered many casualties... The guys and I were damn happy with our work and decided to move up to the next level...
Me: Go on, don't the readers be in suspense...
MB: Okok, The brilliant banana who gave us our method of killing has yet discovered another... He called it "Machine Guns". The invention worked perfectly and we were soon shooting any enemy on sight... We were then known as "The Yellow Death". Everything feared us and we ruled the jungle with an iron fist. All obeyed and none dare oppose...
Me: So how did u end up in that grocery store?
MB: Ah, you mean the fall of my empire... One day, one of the most influential members of the squad decided he wanted more... And he plotted against me... I didn't suspect him because we knew each other well and so I was kidnapped and put in a strange place (delivery truck) with a lot of other bananas, but they seem different... Each was like a walking corpse, they all had no mind of their own... Just laying there waiting for something to happen... Soon we're taken to that "grocery store" you mentioned and that's how we met...
Me: Great tale you have there, and now I shall do what I wanted do since coming back home...
MB: What's that?
Me: EATING BANANAS!!! (Grabs Mr. banana and takes a bite)
MB: NO!!! Hey, its actually kind of nice in here... Damn, I should have listen to mom... Goodbye WORLD!!!
Me: So how did u end up in that grocery store?
MB: Ah, you mean the fall of my empire... One day, one of the most influential members of the squad decided he wanted more... And he plotted against me... I didn't suspect him because we knew each other well and so I was kidnapped and put in a strange place (delivery truck) with a lot of other bananas, but they seem different... Each was like a walking corpse, they all had no mind of their own... Just laying there waiting for something to happen... Soon we're taken to that "grocery store" you mentioned and that's how we met...
Me: Great tale you have there, and now I shall do what I wanted do since coming back home...
MB: What's that?
Me: EATING BANANAS!!! (Grabs Mr. banana and takes a bite)
MB: NO!!! Hey, its actually kind of nice in here... Damn, I should have listen to mom... Goodbye WORLD!!!
And that concludes our interview, I'm your friend on drugs... Have a nice day!!!
0 comments:
Post a Comment